Did you feel rejected or unloved by one or more of your parents? This is a common thing for new people in a relationship, but those with anxiety have an uncontrollable tendency think about those past, present, and possible futures all at once and create a mess of thoughts.
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What thoughts caused you to respond in the ways that you did? Writing about your fears concerning love may help you to identify the root of your fears and the act of writing may help you to work through some of your feelings as well.
The relationship is new. As much as we would like to control everything we can to lessen the anxiety around us, love is something that is uncontrollable.
We will pull away. As a result, you might try to prevent yourself from falling in love in order to avoid having to feel those painful emotions again. At one point or another in a new relationship, our feelings will get the best of us, and we will retreat back into our turtle shell of loneliness. Love is scary.
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We worry about the future. Those things can be overwhelming. As a result, you might want to avoid getting into another relationship and causing the same pain to someone else who you care about. In what ways did you contribute to problems in the relationship? What did you fight about? The last thing we want is to feel like we are just making our new lovers life harder on them.
A lot of people with anxiety also have some self esteem issues. We want love.
Why so many people are scared of love.
Consider these different types of fears and try to determine if your feelings align with any of these. We are just scared no one will put up with our daily battles and nervous behaviors. We like control. How did these experiences make you feel?
8 reasons why anxious people are afraid of love
Sometimes childhood experiences can contribute to our ability to love and be loved. That hwy alone is enough to scare some away. There are many different types of fear that can cause a person to fear loving someone or being loved. Just to say you tried. We worry our illness can become a burden. Deep down, we all want to be loved and wanted.
Why doubt in a relationship is often just a fear of love.
We often have absolutely no idea on how to voice our thoughts or feelings on how to help us cope. Try writing about your feelings to explore them in more depth.
That leaves us feeling anxious. Everyone does. Fear of Hurting Someone Perhaps you have hurt people in relationships and it made you feel guilty.
Consider the problems that arose in the relationship and how you contributed to those problems. Loving someone and being loved back can make the thought of death much scarier because you have more to lose. Consider whether or not your feel like you are worth of being loved. And then we also have the innate ability to prepare for the worst and make ourselves sad with over thinking the bad.
Among those fears are the fear of getting hurt, fear of hurting someone, and fear of commitment. Fear of Loss of Identity Some people think falling in love means that they have to give up certain parts of their identity, which can be scary and may cause some people may avoid love. What are you afraid might happen if you allow yourself to love or be loved?
Many people have fears when it comes to loving and being loved. But, we understand it. We have learned to hate this word, burden. The connotation it carries is unfair to at times. Why would we want to darken it with our secret mental illness?